Putting An End To People Pleasing

It may be hard to admit, but I have been a people pleaser my whole life.

Perhaps you to, have fallen into this category?  You know the signs … you want people to like you, you keep your opinion to yourself  to avoid hurt feelings , you may put your needs behind those of others, or tragically you suppress your needs, wishes and desires just to appease others.

Yes, yes, and yes! I have lived the greater part of my life living in this manner. Scary how we people pleasers just morph into being like this.  Not to say we show up to every situation in this manner. Like most, we do a great job of creating a balance between the two extremes.  Inevitably, though our need to please others win hands down over pleasing ourselves.

As you begin to dig deeper into circumstances that you show up as the “people pleaser version of yourself”, try to scratch the surface as to what you are feeling.  The most popular answer to that ironically is anxiety.  The very feeling you were trying to avoid to begin with!!!!!!  How can that be true??  The very feeling that you are trying to avoid is the constant narrative playing in your head. You’re so busy trying to cover the bases with a mental checklist of ticking of the items needed to be the ultimate people pleaser, your own mind is trying to send up flares…. Hey I am not happy here!

Begin to recognize your feelings in situations that you do not feel like you are being truthful with yourself or situation. Sit with it, and you will begin to trust yourself, trust your feelings to be able to express what you are authentically thinking and feeling. It will take practice, but the first step is to begin to trust yourself.

Be well and be strong!

Hugs,
Karen